My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
the pizza guy spelled domino’s wrong
the fact women are viewed as being more sexy at 15 than 40 is the creepiest thing in the world
when i was 12 years old my health teacher told us all that he thought girls were the most beautiful at age 14-15 and we would never be that beautiful again for the rest of our lives
back then it scared me that i wouldnt stay pretty
once i got older it scared me that he found no shame in saying that, and neither do countless other men
Relationship level 1: awkward flirting
Relationship level 2: getting naked
Relationship level 3: “what type of bender would i be in avatar”
how much lube do you need for anal ? ?
I do not have enough
people should just reply to anon hate with this
damn dude thats brutal
Make Mr. Rogers proud. Both of them.
you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like
"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"
how do you know hell has wifi
satan owes me several favors
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.