friends who live in the same state but are somehow still 1242140 hours away from you
doctor/river, alice/sharp objects
All of this is based on the assumption that we’re talking about Eleven.
- Who’s more dominant: River likes to think she is the dominant one at all times but really it depends on where in the timeline they are, who’s older, etc. But for the most part the Doctor lets River have her way, which is dominance in and of itself.
- Who’s the cuddler: Oh, definitely River. Stormcage is lonely, you know, and it doesn’t help that the Doctor will pop in and out and, in his mind, it’s only been two days, but in actuality, he’s gotten the coordinates wrong (again, despite the fact that he’s been at this for over a thousand years) and River hasn’t actually seen him in seven and a half weeks. Twelve thousand consecutive life sentences is an awfully long time to be alone, and River takes advantage of human(ish) contact when she can, not that the Doctor minds.
- Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: The Doctor is the big spoon. He’d often like to be the little spoon but River insists that it’s purely a matter of heights and that he can’t be the little spoon, but she will never admit that she just loves the feeling of his head on her shoulder and that she lives for waking up to him moaning about how her hair is all in his face.
- What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Depends on who you ask. For the Doctor, it’s taking River on adventures with him and watching her use the skills she acquired as his bespoke psychopath and instead using them to help him save worlds. River will cheerily agree that this is her favorite thing but in actuality, she loves when the Doctor shows up to break her out of Stormcage because there’s a meteor shower in 3769 that he thinks she’d love or a Parisian cafe in 1907 that’s simply to die for. She even loves how sometimes he gets them into trouble (that time they almost got sacrificed to the Rain Gods comes to mind) even when he’s promised an absolutely uneventful evening.
- Who cooks: Neither of them. The TARDIS doesn’t provide anything but a refrigerator and microwave when the Doctor doesn’t have Amy, Rory, or Clara onboard because he’s generally content with fish fingers and custard, and she doesn’t provide anything even remotely resembling a kitchen when both River and the Doctor are around. She knows better than that (after an incident involving tomato soup, an oven mitt, and a still-hot burner) and instead somehow manages to make full meals arrive on a table in a dining room where the Doctor swears a kitchen used to be. Truth be told, neither River nor the Doctor minds
- Who comes home drunk at 3am: Definitely River. She always claims that she just had a lot of making up to do for all of the time she was in Stormcage before she was pardoned, but deep down, late at night she sometimes finds it easier to face the Doctor, whom she loves more than anything or anyone despite the fact that she also technically killed him, and what she’d done to him through a vodka filter. The Doctor knows this and lets her do as she pleases within reason.
- Who kills the spiders: River. The Doctor tries to reason with them and let them leave of their own volition, and then when he’s off fetching a cup and a glass to gently relocate the thing, River ends it.
- Who falls asleep first: River, nearly always. Being that she’s half-human she needs more sleep than the Doctor does on the most basic level.
- A head canon: River knew, when they went to Darillium, that that would be the last time she saw the Doctor before something drastic and irreversible happened to one of them. She also knew that all scenarios had to end in the Doctor being okay, which meant that drastic and irreversible thing was going to happen to her. When she saw him in the Library, even before he didn’t know her (thus confirming that this was their first meeting, and the only way he’d ever have stopped seeing her was if one of them were dead), as soon as she realized he was the Doctor, she knew she was going to die. And she was glad that he had no idea who she was, because it was more bearable for her to imagine that he wouldn’t be that distraught over her death because he had no idea they were married.
- Their relationship summed up in a gif:
"Stop it." "Make me." "Yeah? Well, maybe I will." (Spoiler Alert: he won’t.)
(About the ship stuff) River/Eleven!
Does the laundry?
The TARDIS. When they’re together neither one of them wants to waste the time they have, but if they’re alone River does her own and the TARDIS still does the Doctors.
Is more spontaneous?
The Doctor. He’s the one that’ll pretend to be a guest lecturer just so he can see River in class, he’ll come up with the most unique date ideas for them, and he has to be pretty spontaneous considering how often their dates go wrong.
Gets up in the middle of the night to deal with the baby crying?
The Doctor. He doesn’t sleep much anyway, so he wants to make sure River can get the most rest she can. Sometimes though, when their child won’t go to sleep, he has to take it to River because she’s the only one that can calm it down.
Is more possessive?
River. The Doctor knows how flirtatious River can get, and he knows that she never does so without reason. But when the Doctor starts flirting with someone River will give the person a chance to leave before only just crossing the line over what is appropriate to do at that time and place.
Is most likely to fall asleep while watching a movie?
River. She only really feels safe when she’s around the Doctor, and movie conditions are perfect sleeping conditions.
Is most likely to steal the others clothes?
River. She steals the Doctors shirts and socks. He never realises when she takes his socks so he just thinks it’s the TARDIS complaining over something he did.
Cave to the other giving them pleading eyes?
River. She could never hold her own against the Doctors puppy eyes. And anyway, the Doctor pampers her so completely when they’re together that she’ll never be left wanting anything. And if she did… well, she has her own methods of getting him to comply.
Headcanon: (pre-stony) Steve always catches Tony staring at him while he draws. Then, one random day, months after the staring kinda dissipated, Steve finds a big sheet of paper. Huge. He unrolls it and Finds a gorgeous drawing of himself made entirely out of shapes. It looks like several blueprints layered over eachother to make a stunning version of himself. Tony obviously did it. He asks Tony about it. He kisses Tony as a thank you. Stony occurs. :):):)
Steve figures the staring thing is just because he happens to be in Tony’s line of sight when the man gets lost in his own thoughts. It happens often enough that he doesn’t put too much thought into it. Even if the way Tony stares at him makes him a little hot under the collar. He just chalks that up to wishful thinking.
He figures his notion is confirmed when Tony’s staring gradually dwindles, thinking that maybe Tony has finally solved whatever problem was bothering him enough to constantly lose focus the way he did.
Stand where you are, look around, and list whatever liquidy thing is closest to you. This is now your fanfic lube.
do your old fandoms ever just come back to you, and you remember how much you love one character, and your just like “I forgot about you for a while but I’m back and I love you too my beautiful baby.”
if you’re a boy and you cry it is not dumb and you are not a pussy you’re a fucking human being
Reasons why October is the best month:
- Cold but dry weather
- Everything is pretty colours
- Pumpkin pie
- Pumpkin coffee
- Everything being made to look spooky
- Horror movies on TV all the time
- Jumper weather
- Dressing up as scary things
- Hot drinks
- Lots of sweets
The smell of dying leaves
If u don’t like October get the FUCK outta my house